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Here's one way to bring the kids home for the holidays

The Bright Side: Joe Bushue


I knew the holiday season had started when I saw the one sign I look for every year.The major grocery stores had started the yearly tradition of selling egg nog, a true sign that it was time for the festivities to begin.

As I threw away my rapidly softening jack-o-lantern and replaced my Halloween decorations with fall flowers, turkeys and Pilgrims, I realized that the most family-oriented celebration was coming up soon.

One thing that was always a problem in planning the gastronomic celebration was knowing how many and who all were coming. One person related to me one way he handled it.

He called his son and said, “I’m going to divorce your mother.”

His son replied, “But Dad, you and Mom have been married for 40-plus years! Why now?”

His father said, “Ever since you and your sister moved out and I retired, she has constantly been on my back, whining and complaining about everything I do. I can’t take it anymore!”

“Dad, Thanksgiving is coming up in a couple of days. Sis and I will be there to talk this over with you and Mom. Promise me you won’t do anything before we get there.”

The father, still sounding a little irate said, “All right, but you won’t change my mind. I’m still leaving her.”

“Well, hold on until we get there,” his son pleaded.

The father hung up the phone, looked at his wife and said:

“Honey, it worked. The kids are coming for Thanksgiving!”

Joe Bushue is a travel agent and lifelong Gresham resident who has been tolerating multiple sclerosis for 30-plus years. His column recounts some of the humorous sides of his disability and his slants on life in general. Reach him by email at joebushue@live.com.