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On the Town

Keep the urn, just return the father

Notice to thieves who swiped a rusted blue 1985 Saab at Southeast 23rd and Taggart last Sunday night: You may have a serious karma problem.

As you've probably realized by now, the car isn't worth its weight as scrap metal. Same goes for the dishes and clothes packed inside. … Alisa Simmons, who was moving from her old apartment and staying at a friend's house that night, says she isn't the least bit worried about losing any of it. … But that odd gold-colored box - you know, the one with the screws on top? … Those are the ashes of Alisa's dad, Alvin Thomas, who died three years ago on Christmas morning. … It's all she's got to remember him by - that and the photograph on the funeral program you may have noticed while rummaging through the car. … So needless to say, this is the sort of thing that could call down upon your heads the most drastic sort of retribution - and I'm not just talking about the cops, either. … Freak traffic accidents happen. Safes fall without warning from high places. And there's always dismemberment by the lions in the Oregon Zoo. … Actually, the smartest thing you can do now is call Alisa at 503-988-3308, where she works as the receptionist for outgoing county Chairwoman Diane Linn, and tell her where she can find her stuff. … Otherwise, I gotta tell you, I don't think much of your chances.

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Must be getting close to election time. Driving through the Pearl this week, Radio Cabbie Bruce Wilson spotted a perfectly restored '62 Lincoln Continental with a spanking-new red, white and blue Kennedy-Johnson bumper sticker. … Hey, don't laugh. Maybe they'll keep us out of Vietnam. … Say goodbye to the Jasmine Tree, the delightfully seedy Chinese restaurant that's graced the corner of Southwest Fourth and Harrison for the past 29 years. … Apparently the Portland Development Commission, which gobbled up the rest of neighborhood years ago, wants the land for itself. And what the PDC wants - well, you know the rest. … At least the classic Polynesian-style décor won't be a total loss. Up-and-coming restaurateur Robert Volz plans to use it in a new tiki bar called Thatch, which should be opening in a month or so on Northeast Broadway by 28th, just four doors down from his swimmingly successful wine bar, Pour.

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Three hundred Oregonians just returned from the fifth anniversary 'Flight for Freedom' - which, of course, started as a way to show local support for the Big Apple after 9/11 and maybe do a little shopping as well. … Nick Fish, co-chairman of the event, says a highlight of the weekend was a performance of the musical 'Shout!' starring homegrown 21-year-old singer and dancer Lauren Huss, until then relegated to the role of understudy. 'A star is in the making,' Fish assures me. … And what would we do without hot dog impresario Frank Nudo, who clearly remembers the late Nate Zusman, who, as recently noted in this space, was proprietor of the Desert Room. … 'Oh yeah,' says Frank, who owns and operates Nick's Famous Coney Island on Hawthorne, 'he used to come in all the time. He'd sit at the back booth over there lending money out of a big paper sack.' … And what sort of interest do you suppose he charged? 'Dunno,' Frank says. 'But it couldn't be as much as the credit card companies get now.' Just one more reason they call 'em the Good Old Days.

Contact Phil Stanford by phone at 503-546-5166 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..