Blazers may have a ’Crazy Crab’ hit
Now that the No. 1 sport in Oregon, college football, has been put to rest for a little while, we can take a deep breath and make a few comments on the local basketball team.
nÊIt was way back in 1984 when the San Francisco Giants stumbled onto a promotional vehicle that was among the funniest I've ever seen in sports. Once a game, the silliest-looking mascot in history, a human inside a very tacky-looking foam crab costume, made an appearance on the field. They called him the 'Crazy Crab,' and someone wrote music for him that was suitably awful and included the words 'love that crazy crab.'
Well, it was so hokey that the fans hated the mascot Ð which was perfect, because they loved hating him.
You know, it was so bad, it was good. The crab would come out, and the boos would cascade from the seats in Candlestick Park. Just a few games into it, the fans began throwing debris at the mascot Ð who endured the treatment for an entire season. It became a cult classic and a reason, in fact, to go to that frigid ballpark.
And I don't think I've ever seen anything with the potential to match that campy display until Saturday night when the Trail Blazers' director of special events, Jerry Moss, came onto the court in the Rose Garden, screaming and yelling, trying to get the crowd up for the Blazers' pregame introductions. People sat in stunned disbelief. I mean, was this guy serious?
I think, though, that with time, it could become a big hit. As long as fans are allowed to boo and throw things at him.
nÊScottie Pippen better be careful. If he keeps making those nasty remarks about Bob Whitsitt, he'll find himself traded for Olden Polynice. No, not really. You can probably trade Pippen for Polynice only once, which Whitsitt already did, and besides, Polynice is out of the league now. I hear he's pursuing a career in law enforcement.
nÊI was amazed how many people were rooting for Philadelphia on Saturday night. And by the way, I can't think of a superstar or most valuable player who can be as frequently awful as Allen Iverson. He's never seen a shot he couldn't miss, and I fail to see how he makes his teammates better on a lot of nights.
This season he's shooting 38.6 percent from the field and just 25.7 percent on three-pointers, yet he takes 26 shots per game. And how about this: He's averaging 5.8 assists and 3.9 turnovers a game. That is simply awful.
nÊShawn Kemp. Some nights he reminds you just how good he used to be. So does Pippen. So far, though, Derek Anderson hasn't shown us how good he used to be.
nÊDamon Stoudamire. Now that he's back to being Damon again, the Blazers have a No. 2 scorer.
nÊPaul Allen. He's been missing home games lately. On vacation, I hear. I hope he got his Sports Illustrated OK.