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Hey, pal, dont even think about it

How do two female cops secure their new Mercedes bikes while stopping off at the Starbucks at Second and Taylor for a quick latte? With their handcuffs, of course. É Those semiautomatic pistolas strapped to their waists probably don't hurt, either. É The Mannix campaign's latest effort to draw gubernatorial front-runner Ted Kulongoski into the fray: a news release featuring Kulongoski's picture, because 'most Oregon voters wouldn't recognize him if they ran into him on the street.' É Sure they would. He's the one who doesn't look like Mannix É whatever he looks like. É Check out the chubby guy in the white suit, hat and pinkie ring, sitting in the front window of Holman's Bar & Grill at 15 S.E. 28th Ave. It's Al Capone, of course, or at least a life-size statue of him Ñ and the best thing about him is that he's reading the latest edition of the Portland Tribune. É Nobody ever said Al was dumb. Not to his face, anyway.

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Former heavyweight champ George Foreman, in town for the big fight at the Rose Garden, dropped by Jake's Famous Crawfish Friday night. É Because of his barbecue grill TV commercials, the staff was betting he'd order grilled fish. But George crossed 'em up and ordered ŽtouffŽe, a Cajun stew with crawfish tails, chicken and rock shrimp. É Yes, it does sound awfully good. And it's pronounced ay-too-fay, in case you want to seem like you know what you're talking about. É Only Dwight Slade's close friends know he's on the verge of signing with Warner Bros. to do a pilot Ñ which is, of course, the path to stardom for comedians these days. But even with them he isn't saying much because he doesn't want to jinx the deal. É Relax, I say. With Dwight's TV-star good looks and the sort of edgy humor that's in these days, he's got nothing to worry about.

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If you don't already have the famous poster of Bud Clark exposing himself to art on your wall, all is not lost.

Mike Beard Ñ no, not the one on the Mannix campaign, but the one who owns Errol Graphics Ñ is planning to bring out a silver-anniversary edition next month. É Could it really have been that long? É All that structural steelwork just completed on the Oregon Convention Center expansion project was put there by Carr Construction Inc., whose president just happens to be former Blazer forward Kenny Carr. The convention center job, he says was worth a cool $14 million. É Hope this doesn't blow John Callahan's conservative credentials Ñ but guess who was drawing cartoons for the faithful at David Bragdon's fund-raiser at the Aladdin Theatre Friday night? É Turns out that Callahan and the quite-liberal candidate for Metro president are old friends.

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The Avon ladies, who had a booth at the Senior Expo this past weekend at the convention center, were astonished when all their lipstick samples disappeared within two hours after opening on Friday. As one of them put it, 'This sort of pilfering just doesn't happen at other senior events.' É Event sponsor Richard Busch, however, says that 'pilfering' is probably too strong a word. Since there were so many giveaways at the expo, attendees probably just got confused. É In any case, if you see a lot of seriously gussied-up seniors walking around P-town during the next few days, you'll know why. Shame on them.

Contact Phil Stanford by phone at 503-546-5166 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .