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Guess I got the ol Rip City blues

If this year's Blazer marketing slogan, 'One fan at a time,' doesn't cut it anymore, says Boats Johnson, how about this: 'Not guilty, your honor.' É Best Blazer rumor of the week: That Bob Whitsitt will soon step down from his position as general manager of the Blazers so he can devote his full attention to the Seattle Seahawks, Paul Allen's other struggling sports team. É Best Blazer factoid: Paul Allen's luxury yacht (see the latest Sports Illustrated) is Ñ get this Ñ 301 feet long. É Hey, maybe Whitsitt would rather be a yacht captain. É Best Blazer quote of the week, uttered by auto mogul Ron Tonkin. His newspaper letter denouncing the Blazers drew the attention of an all-sports network, which was in town last weekend: 'I can't believe it. I'm going to be on ESPN!'

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Radio Cab jockey Tony Palmer has a way of dealing with squirrelly customers: 'Better watch out, pal. I have a black belt in karaoke.' É Fans of Kelley Day should be happy. She's back on the tube, having started last Wednesday as a reporter for, appropriately enough, KPTV (12), the local Fox station. É What people like about Kelley, though, is that it's more than skin-deep. É The K-Man, cartoonist John Callahan's hard-drinking sidekick, is home from Good Sam after a frightening bout with high blood pressure. No more drinking for him, he says. He's undergone a 'barroom conversion.' É The conservative Executive Club recently passed out awards for what it considers the best (read worst) liberal quote of the year. My favorite: Randy Leonard, arguing in the state Legislature against a measure to limit state spending. É 'If you vote for this, you're siding with terrorists.' É Liberals should feel free to respond.

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Jefferson Kincaid, whose previous claim to fame was giving George W. Bush a deep tissue massage when the prez hit town this fall, will be holding forth this Thursday at Bodacious Classics on Southeast Powell. Topic of the day will be the mysterious Planet X. É Klingon karaoke to follow at 9. É Tried going to a restaurant on Northwest 21st or Trendy-third on a Friday night recently? I spent about 15 minutes last weekend circling for a parking place before giving up and going home. É Here's hoping they get enough business from people who live within walking distance. É The Oregon Zoo Foundation is auctioning off four donated cemetery plots at Sunset Hills Ñ all priced below market value, zoo lady Linda D'Ae-Smith assures me Ñ with proceeds going to the zoo's Campaign for Condors. É Call 503-220-5707 and make at least one condor very happy.

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What, those guys again? Blazer Executive Vice President Erin Hubert is also vice chairwoman of Portland's Citizens Crime Commission Ñ which, as luck would have it, held its annual awards banquet last week at the Hilton. É When it was her turn to speak, she tried bravely to make a joke out of it: Perhaps, she noted, her association with the team just gives her more credibility to her work with the crime commission. É How embarrassing: not even a nervous snicker from the audience. É For the sake of fairness, however, it should be noted that PGE and Ñ who would have thought that we would ever have to say it? Ñ the Archdiocese of Portland also bought tables for the event.

Contact Phil Stanford by phone at 503-546-5166 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .