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Keep your mitts off the post office

Can you believe the gall of these guys? Despite the objections of two Oregon senators and at least one of our congressmen, the federal government still intends to go ahead with its plan to deface Portland's historic old Pioneer Courthouse by turning it into a private parking garage for judges. É Chief instigator of this outrage is presiding Judge Michael Hogan, who, besides everything else, is known to embarrass his colleagues Ñ although not himself, apparently Ñ by breaking into song at judicial functions. Last year at one party he did a Michael Jackson imitation, sequined glove and all. É If all else fails, says one legal expert, Oregon's congressional delegation will simply return to Congress and have the project's $16 million appropriation revoked. How embarrassing would that be?

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You are hereby advised that Bodacious Classics Restaurant & Pump House Ñ the Southeast Powell bar that offers Klingon karaoke the second Thursday of every month Ñ has changed its name to Bodacious Classics Restaurant and Intergalactic Refueling Station. What's more, participants at last week's session report that as Qaolin the Klingon was onstage singing 'Bad to the Bone' at least four pairs of panties were thrown in his direction. É Always knew there was something more to this Star Trek business than met the eye. É Walter Moberg, proprietor of Moberg Fireplaces on Williams Avenue, will neither confirm nor deny the rumor that he's been commissioned to do 22 fireplaces for Blazer owner Paul Allen's new chalet in Douglas, Wyo. He did, however, just finish five of them for Bruce Springsteen in New Jersey and seven for Jon Bon Jovi.

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Best speed trap in P-town continues to be that stretch of McLoughlin just south of MLK, where the speed limit holds at 35. The boys in blue can fill a courtroom with $150 ticket holders anytime they get an itch to stake it out. É Next target for the traffic division, says Sgt. Greg White: Scholls Ferry Road. Don't say you weren't warned. É Worried about what the war on Iraq will do to the economy? Not Diamond Dave Rogoway of LaRog's Jewelers. É We can finance it, he suggests, by selling ad space on military jets Ñ just like on NASCAR race cars. Glad someone's thinking ahead. É 'On the subject of great coffee shops,' says Northeast resident Devani Scheidler, 'it's hard to beat Caffe Destino on Northeast Fremont and 14th. They remember your favorite drink and are gracious to kids and dogs.' É And while we're at it, coffee lovers, let's not be stingy when it comes time to pay up. Coffee aficionados tell me the cool thing in P-town right now is to leave your barista a dollar tip.

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Restaurant tip of the week: Don Pedro, a Mexican fast-food joint, located in an old Wendy's at Southeast 122nd and Stark. Everything's good, but try the breakfast burrito for $2.69. It won't hurt if you bring your Spanish-English dictionary, either. É And finally, who were those 'businessmen' huddled at El Gaucho with Governor Ted last Sunday night? É Well, one of them was not a businessman at all. He was Reuben Barralas, special assistant to the White House Ñ which makes this a very interesting huddle, indeed. É The other: Gordon Sonland, local investor, and, by his choice, man of mystery. É And what were they and the newly installed governor talking about? É Bringing big league baseball to P-town. What else?

Contact Phil Stanford by phone at 503-546-5166 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .