And a happy Pioneer Courthouse Day to you, too. É As you obviously have remembered, this evening the General Service Administration, affectionately known as the GSA, is holding a dog-and-pony show at P-town's most historic building to justify turning it into a private clubhouse for federal judges. É Among other things, they intend to blast a hole in the north side of the building to make an entryway for a new parking garage. É The GSA has no intention of letting anyone with an opposing point of view speak at the open house tonight Ñ but that doesn't mean you can't make your feelings known outside, if you get my drift. É See you there at 6 p.m. or so.
• • •
Funnyman Art Krug was still on the critical list last week with what doctors at Providence Portland Medical Center called a serious 'heart episode,' when fellow comedian Dwight Slade sent in a note saying that if things didn't work out, well, for the better, could he please have Art's answering-machine routine. É 'Over my dead body,' responded the patient. É Hey, if Art weren't so out of it, those guys could take it on the road. Get well, Art. É A lawyer friend who wishes to remain anonymous says she just received a copy of the newly revised Oregon Uniform Criminal Jury Instruction Ñ which, among other things, deals with the 'Unlawful Wearing of Body Armor' and 'Sexual Assault of an Animal.' É Well, somebody's got to think about these things, I guess.
• • •
Larry George, former head of the property rights group Oregonians in Action Ñ and not, incidentally, ex-boyfriend of bedazzling conservative Kate Schiele, who recently lost in a runoff for Metro president Ñ has been sending e-mails back to friends from his 'round-the-world tour. É 'After the past two weeks,' begins the latest, 'I am now very confident in my opinion that I would be much happier married to a Swedish socialist than an American Republican witch.' É 'I'm glad to hear he's finally gotten over me,' cackles Kate. É Actually, she has a very nice laugh.
• • •
Produce king Joe Gatto Ñ who, we should not fail to note, is about to be inducted into the Cleveland High Athletic Hall of Fame Ñ informs that there's never been a better time to stop by Nick's Famous Coney Island, which is owned and operated by his buddy Frank Nudo. 'Frank's got laryngitis,' he says. 'Enjoy it while you can.'
• • •
'OK,' writes Vince Patton of KGW television. 'If you're so smart, how come the exit on Highway 26 is labeled 'Sylvan' when there is no Sylvan Street? There's Skyline and Scholls Ferry Road Ñ but no Sylvan.' É Good question, Vince, and thank you for sharing. É The Department of Transportation informs me that once upon a time there was actually a community called Sylvan up there, with its own post office and everything. Before 1890, when the post office officially adopted that name, it was called Zion Town Ñ so, why it isn't called the Zion exit is certainly beyond me. É Have a question that's been troubling you, too? Don't hesitate to ask Dr. Phil.