Hold your hats ladies and gentlemen of Lake Oswego, they are at it again, despite the strong opposition against the sensitive lands program. Lake Oswego and the Audubon Society, Friends of Tyron Creek and the Columbia Land Trust are conducting a certification program to assure your backyards conform to special rules and regulations for wildlife habitat and native plants.

The recent Hello L.O. issue announced that this program commenced on Aug. 1. Broadly speaking, this program provides for an investigation of your backyard by an 'expert,' upon your request, to determine compliance with the desires of the environmental societies that you do not control.

The program seeks to restore native species, which for most of us requires destroying our beautiful roses, clematis, daffodils, tulips and so many other plants that make Lake Oswego attractive, which native plants do not. Of course the English ivy is all invasive and defies any attempt to destroy it. Survival of the fittest.

Then there is the wildlife. The program requires care and comforting of indigenous species of birds and animals and assuring their survival is essential. Of course cats are not permitted outside of the house. They kill little birds. But so do crows, raccoons and other indigenous animals. In my opinion, it is cruel and inhumane to cage animals. If it was up to me, I would not allow zoos, except those with open territory to roam.

If you sign up for this program and you comply with these complex requirements, you are issued a certificate of compliance. Trouble is, there will come a day when the enviro police will visit you and demand to see your certificate. If you don't have one, there may be heavy fines (like driver's licenses).

The program has numerous good suggestions for the home owner and many will try to comply voluntarily; how to return a fledgling little bird to its nest in a tree, or rid your property of raccoons are examples, but the certificate be damned. It is typical of the environmental movement to come up with good ideas, but destroy them by over regulation.

John Beau is a resident of Lake Oswego.

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