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‘The Vulcan’s Guide to Business Management’

Managing a business would surely be easier if Vulcan logic was applied

by: Vance Tong - Vance W. Tong is the publisher and editor of the Central Oregonian. He can be reached at: 
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The further I advance in my career, the more my job has become one of decision-making instead of writing.
   When I started working in the newspaper industry, I wrote stories, took a few photographs, and that was it.
   Then, when I became an editor, I did less writing, took fewer photographs and had to start making decisions.
   Of course now that I'm the publisher and the editor, I write very little, take fewer photographs, and sometimes it seems like all I do is sit in my office and dispense the wisdom of Solomon.
   And while I'm still waiting for the opportunity to sit in my office and say, "Cut the baby in half," I'm not holding my breath for that day coming any time soon.
   But as I was sitting at home pondering how my job has changed over the years, it occurred to me that Vulcans (of Star Trek fame), would probably make very good business managers.
   Think about it, they dispense with emotion and make decisions based solely on logic. I don't know about you, but my decision-making ability would be greatly enhanced if I could dispense with emotions.
   And on top of that, they have that really cool Vulcan nerve pinch thing. What a great means for dealing with unruly customers, employees, or salesmen!
   "Just step into my office," you'd say as you go to pat them on the back . . . and then pinch! They're passed out, and you can go to lunch.
   I don't know if some Trekkie has written it yet, but `The Vulcan's Guide to Business Management' would be a sure-fire best-seller.
   What's better, if you could apply those principles without having the pointy ears, it's like getting all the benefits without any of the drawbacks.
   And just think about negotiations with other businesses. Pure logic being applied would certainly throw off the average businessman.
   In the words of Mr. Spock, "Vulcans never bluff."