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Best of police blotter: Its an odd trip down memory lane

Here's one final look back at 2008 in what we have come to call the Best of the Lake Oswego Police blotter:

1/3/08 1:48 p.m. The owner of a property on Meadowlark Lane said a Honey Bucket portable toilet had been placed in her yard. Police found that the Honey Bucket was actually on a neighbor's property. It may have just seemed a lot closer than it was.

1/18/08 9:52 a.m. A man called police asking for animal control regarding a 'vicious toy poodle' that he was unable to control because he is disabled. An officer contacted the caller's brother who assisted with the dog.

1/18/08 9:56 a.m. At Rite-Aid on B Avenue, an officer reported finding another officer's ticket book outside and wanted to turn it in.

1/20/08 8:23 a.m. At a home on Third Street, a woman said her Christmas cards had disappeared. In addition, the woman said she had received calls from a company saying someone was going to be released from prison. An officer followed up and found two reasons for the woman to be grateful: The person being released was her son and the officer helped find the Christmas cards in a bedroom.

2/8/08 1:38 p.m. An officer disposed of a deceased rat.

2/12/08 6:54 p.m. Garbage had just been dumped on McVey Avenue, where people were driving through it.

3/01/08 10:10 a.m. A gray poodle was found in a man's yard on Kenola Court. The poodle had painted red nails.

3/18/08 12:26 p.m. A woman identified only as Ruth called police to say she was 'stuck in a hole,' according to a police report. Police found she was stuck between a couch and chair and helped her out.

4/4/08 3:53 p.m. A probable lunatic was wearing scrubs under clothes and claiming to have 'gotten away from the hospital' on Kerr Parkway.

4/11/08 5:36 p.m. Juveniles were caught fornicating in a car on Quarry Road.

4/18/08 7:30 a.m. Five mailboxes were found slaughtered at dawn on Fir Ridge Road.

4/19/08 7:41 p.m. A passer-by saw two people walk along the train tracks on State Street, then go arm and arm into a grassy area under a trestle.

4/28/08 1:00 p.m. The suspicious person seen sifting through the recycling bins on Palisades Terrace turned out to be a raccoon.

4/30/08 10:08 a.m. On Boones Ferry Road, police mediated a dispute involving multiple shopping carts and a green Toyota Prius.

5/2/08 4:41 p.m. A man was making scary faces at a seven-year-old child on Lords Lane.

5/7/08 12:26 a.m. A flock of starlings - yes, birds - invaded the bedroom of a home on Brookhurst Drive. Police shooed approximately 50 winged raiders from the abode.

5/12/08 12:45 p.m. A purported homeless camp, discovered on Iron Mountain, turned out to be an elaborate fort built by kids.

5/16/08 10:48 a.m. At the Farmers' Market, police aided in the search for a missing red wagon.

5/18/08 4:46 a.m. Five very large spiders caused a panic in a home on Fifth Street.

5/29/08 10:09 p.m. A practical joke got out of hand on Boones Ferry Road, where a man who somehow ended up in a Dumpster at a pizza joint was unable to get out again.

5/30/08 5:46 p.m. A man suspected of urinating on his neighbor's deck on Touchstone blamed his dog.

5/31/08 12:41 a.m. A man seen running through a residential neighborhood was apparently dodging his cab fare.

5/31/08 4:39 p.m. Two kids walked into a State Street store carrying a walker and looking for a knife to cut the handlebars.

6/2/08 2:00 p.m. A goat was on the loose in the Milwaukie area. All police were on the lookout.

6/2/08 9:21 p.m. Several kids were plotting to build a cinder block wall in front of the doors of one of the high schools.

6/6/08 7:15 p.m. An eight-year-old boy called police after arguing with his sister about shutting off the television.

6/10/08 10:55 a.m. A man called police to say he'd been buying drugs from bad people.

6/10/08 7:42 p.m. A man left his keys on the top of his car on Tenth Street, then couldn't find them.

6/15/08 11:11 a.m. Police were summoned to view overgrown grass on Glacier Lily Drive.

6/19/08 11:17 p.m. Boaters on the Willamette River pulled over to a Lake Oswego home and stole the patio furniture.

6/21/08 1:30 p.m. A peacock on Bonaire Avenue apparently had its legs tied together.

6/23/08 8:32 a.m. A person who found money on the ground on North Shore Boulevard volunteered to keep it until its owner could be found.

6/23/08 10:46 a.m. A strange odor was reportedly coming from a Port-a-Potty on Sixth Street.

6/23/08 4:16 p.m. A child called police to say his or her mother wouldn't let them leave the house.

6/25/08 2:55 a.m. An apparent domestic squabble in a car on Highway 217 turned out to be two men and a woman having a tickle fight. Police located the trio in a hot tub at a hotel.

6/25/08 9:21 p.m. Teens suspected of breaking windows behind the Speedy Linguine were really just smashing a television set.

6/27/08 2:36 a.m. An intruder in a house on El Greco turned out to be a very drunken man who had gone into the wrong home.

7/7/08 4:01 p.m. A jogger on Rainbow Road was repeatedly dialing 9-1-1 from a cell phone, which was bouncing in the pocket of his or her sportswear.

7/8/08 9:36 p.m. Children on Eaglecrest Drive were told by police to do what their mother says.

7/9/08 9:27 a.m. A woman who was harassed over taking a disabled parking space on Monroe Parkway was, in fact, disabled.

7/9/08 4:53 p.m. A woman laying on a sidewalk on Pacific Highway was not injured, just lying on the sidewalk.

7/14/08 6:59 p.m. A resident voiced concern about noise from a 50-foot waterfall soon to be installed at a neighbor's house on Alder Circle.

7/17/08 4:59 p.m. Ducklings were stuck in a storm grate on Ladd Street, where a rescue attempt tied up traffic.

7/20/08 7:26 p.m. A dog was sidling over the property line of a residence on Wembley Park Road.

7/28/08 5:04 p.m. A homeowner accused of piling junk in her driveway was preparing for a garage sale on Laurel Street.

8/1/08 6:20 p.m. A watermelon was found in George Rogers Park with a knife next to it.

8/2/08 8:27 p.m. People were pretending to fornicate in a driveway on Lords Lane.

8/2/08 9:40 p.m. Yelling and pounding in an apartment on Jefferson Parkway was coming from a man who was trying to train his puppy.

8/5/08 8:25 p.m. A drunken woman was swimming in the lake to her apparent detriment.

8/6/08 9:26 p.m. Police freed a woman locked in a public storage unit on State Street.

8/7/08 7:03 p.m. A person who fell three times while riding a bicycle was making slow progress down McVey Avenue.

8/8/08 4:17 a.m. A penniless drunken man called police to say he was having trouble getting a cab on Monroe Parkway.

8/8/08 11:25 p.m. A drunken man left a bag of marijuana in a bar on A Avenue.

8/8/08 11:41 p.m. A bag of burning feces was tossed onto the lawn of a home on Brookhurst Drive.

8/10/08 5:58 p.m. A man called 9-1-1 to say there was an intruder in his house. A woman then picked up the line and told him to shut up. They were apparently related.

8/14/08 4:33 p.m. An argument broke out between a drag queen and another patron in the parking lot of the library.

8/17/08 12:42 p.m. A man who had been yelling at a woman for a few hours on E Avenue was not a man at all, just a loud television.

8/17/08 9:38 p.m. A woman who was threatened on the phone was not really in danger, police found, just enduring the ire of a son-in-law after she informed his wife of an apparent weight problem.

8/19/08 11:20 a.m. A 12 year old was found responsible for a series of unpleasant phone calls.

8/20/08 7:02 a.m. A woman who trapped a live raccoon on O'Brien Street called police for advice on what to do with it.

8/20/08 6:03 p.m. A man who lost his car called police to see if they had it. They did not.

8/23/08 1:16 a.m. A frustrated homeowner called police on an unstoppable doorbell-ringer, only to discover that the doorbell was defective.

8/24/08 8:41 p.m. Loud noises on Del Prado Street turned out to be a homeowner who was watching the Olympics.

8/25/08 7:36 a.m. A man was accused of barking at dogs outside a veterinarian's office on Third Street.

8/26/08 10:06 p.m. A black Jeep raced down Melrose Street with a juvenile clinging to the roof rack.

8/27/08 4:00 p.m. A man seen pouring liquor into a water bottle on Fourth Street told police this was to hide it from his wife. She knows now.

8/30/08 3:57 p.m. Two men were fighting over pole space on Ninth Street, where one's garage sale sign was interfering with another's urgent call to Stop Global Warming. Words were exchanged, then saliva.

8/31/08 11:40 p.m. Kids stretched Saran wrap across the street on Lakeview Boulevard.

9/2/08 9:55 p.m. A 12-year-old boy tried to run away from home following a dispute over cookies.

9/3/08 8:08 a.m. A refrigerator with a 'free' sign on it worried a passer-by, who saw it as a potential suffocation chamber on Tamaway Drive.

9/4/08 12:36 p.m. A wandering dog on Bryant Road was not on the loose, just elderly. It was walking about half a block behind its owner, struggling to keep up with the pace.

9/5/08 7:15 p.m. One of two children playing chicken with cars on Country Club Road turned out to be a 25-year-old man. His accomplice was, indeed, a 12 year old.

9/09/08 8:08 p.m. A 15-year-old boy was repeatedly walking around the block in athletic clothing on Inverurie Avenue.

9/11/08 2:57 p.m. A local woman kept receiving calls from people asking about transgender clothing.

9/12/08 8:44 a.m. Police released a bicycle and a ukulele to their owner who, inexplicably, lost both at the same time.

9/12/08 12:16 p.m. A Jesuit mom requested protection for the 100 students walking to Lake Oswego High School (for a football game). Last time they were hit with eggs and rocks.

9/12/08 4:56 p.m. Kid with eggs were spotted on Atwater Road, laying in wait for the Jesuit students. They were excluded from the related football game.

9/16/08 1:10 p.m. A local person received a phone call telling them not to be afraid about interest rates.

9/17/08 6:18 a.m. Three people were found sleeping in an apartment on Hill Way. It wasn't their apartment.

9/19/08 9:49 a.m. A woman who found a bottle of vanilla on Greenridge Court turned it in to police, concerned that kids were drinking it.

9/19/08 4:59 p.m. A 10-year-old boy sitting on a corner on Galen Street appeared upset. Turns out he had to get a shot at the doctor's office.

9/29/08 3:38 p.m. A dog escaped a yard on Hillshire Drive when the batteries failed on its invisible fence collar. His canine comrade stood barking at him from inside the yard.

10/01/08 7:56 p.m. People accused of burning something on a balcony on Jefferson Parkway were attempting to barbecue.

10/10/08 7:33 p.m. A man who was messing with an ATM on Mercantile Drive had actually been hired to fix it.

10/10/08 2:57 p.m. A pet dove flew into Vic's Auto Center on Boones Ferry Road.

10/17/08 9:21 p.m. A crow was wreaking havoc on a gymnasium on Country Club Road.

10/16/08 5:28 p.m. A woman who sent nude pictures of herself to a local man was angry when they appeared on the Internet.

10/15/08 6:20 p.m. A white shopping bag tied tightly was found unattended at the post office on Boones Ferry Road. Police found these were the remains of someone's lunch.

10/15/08 9:06 a.m. A strange man in the backyard of a home on Lake Front Road did not look like the homeowner. Turns out he was.

10/21/08 3:39 p.m. Two men appeared to be tailing a pair of children but were actually in search of unregistered voters.

10/31/08 7:35 p.m. A 15-year-old girl ran away while trick-or-treating. She was last seen wearing bunny ears, a pink sweater and black, fuzzy boots.

11/01/08 12:38 p.m. A domestic disturbance on Foothills Drive turned out to be a woman who had lost her voice trying to have a phone argument with a 4-1-1 operator.

11/19/08 2:50 p.m. A man who showed up drunk to a court appointment assured officials he had walked, not driven.

11/18/08 6:47 a.m. A group of ducks were apparently locked in the back of a Subaru at a hotel on Bangy Road. They were gone when police arrived but the hotel manager said the duck owner takes proper care of the animals, using a tiny pool in the rear of his hotel room as a swimming area.

11/30/08 7:13 a.m. Police were summoned to help with an out-of-control 11 year old who was upset over that night's proposed dinner selections.

12/4/08 3:11 p.m. A dog that went missing on Lakeview Boulevard was found uninjured at the bottom of a 10-foot hole.

12/4/08 9:21 a.m. An elderly Asian man was urinating in a yard on Tamaway Drive but no one could ask him to stop because he did not speak English.

12/10/08 7:03 p.m. A boy who was reported missing was found sleeping behind an entertainment center.

12/10/08 4:20 p.m. A woman sought advice from police after suspecting she had been poisoned by ninjas from McDonald's.

12/17/08 3:34 p.m. A garage door was left open a crack on Cornell Street, a scenario that looked suspicious to neighbors.

12/18/08 12:51 p.m. A man who loaned a pair of shoes to a woman who did not have any was upset when she did not give them back.

12/18/08 3:15 p.m. A woman was complimented on her outfit by a man who asked too many questions on Boones Ferry Road.