If you weren't totally convinced by the interview with the trooper who says he spotted then-state trooper Bernie Giusto headed for the governor's mansion with two wine glasses, how about the one who claims to have heard suspicious sounds coming from the upstairs maid's bedroom? … Yes, folks, it's your state Department of Public Safety Standards and Training in action. Who knows how far they'll go in their efforts to prove that Bernie once had an affair with former Gov. Neil Goldschmidt's ex-wife - or, for that matter, how nasty Bernie's supporters will get in their attempts to strike back at this official gossipmongering? … Bernie's lawyer, Bruce McCain, says it's entirely likely that his response to the latest report will include information on the DPSST's lead investigator, a retired policewoman herself, who allegedly had a notorious affair with the captain of detectives while assigned to that division. … Law enforcement has never been so much fun.
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It's a little early to start salivating, but reliable sources tell me that In-N-Out Burger, the California chain so popular with the kids, has been scouting for locations in the Portland area. … If so, the local fast-food restaurants are in for it. In-N-Out's secret? Everything's fresh. … An In-N-Out spokeswoman can neither confirm nor deny - but acknowledges that the company recently opened a new place in Utah. That being the case, can Oregon be far behind? … Good thing that Paul Knauls, proprietor of Geneva's Shear Perfection Barber-Beauty Salon on Northeast Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, is the easygoing sort. This week he opened a letter from Sprint, the cell phone company, informing him that if he wanted to avoid a rather drastic interruption of service, he'd better take care of an overdue bill of - what's that! - $8,461.00. … Paul says when he called the phone number on the letter, the lady on the other end said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. We just got a new computer system and the decimal point's in the wrong place.'… Nice call from Frank Franzone, whose father, Frank Sr., used to be one of the go-to guys in town if you wanted to fix a traffic ticket. As the record shows, back in the mid-'60s, he did a couple of years in the state pen for just that. … 'Yessir,' Frank Jr. says, 'he took the fall for a lot of folks' - including several judges in what was then P-town's municipal court. 'When I was a kid, I used to go with him to one of the judge's homes and wait in the living room while Dad took the tickets in to the judge.' Ah, those were the days.
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Forget Barack Obama and Steve Novick. Biggest surprise of the political season has got to be Will Hobbs, the country rock guitarist turned Intel engineer who's running for Congress in the district that includes west Portland and Beaverton. … Two weeks ago, probably no one besides fans of the popular '70s band Wheatfield had ever heard of him. As of this week, he has the endorsement of both The Oregonian and Willamette Week, both of which picked him over incumbent David Wu. … One thing for sure, this guy's no ordinary politician. Sunday evening he'll be appearing on my pal Bill McDonald's cable-access show, 'Born to Slack,' raising money for McDonald's co-host James Shibley, who just underwent a stem cell transplant. Who says good guys have to finish last?