On the Town
Nothing beats camping with pigs
We interrupt this broadcast for what can only be described as a major break in the continuing saga of Peaches, the pig who was rescued from the Columbia in front of Salty's earlier this month. …
Last Friday, Salty's on the Columbia manager Linda Addy got a call from a guy who said he was camping with a pig on Government Island during the time in question - and when he turned around, the pig was gone. Could this one be his? … 'Camping with a pig?' Addy asked. … Well, yes, said the guy on the other end, who prefers to be known here only by the initial J. … He and some friends had gone out to the island to do a little camping and, well, have a pig roast as well. … And when Peaches figured out what was up, she escaped from the burlap bag they had her tied up in and headed for the river - eventually, as we now know (because J's description matched Peaches to a T-bone), to be rescued about five miles downstream by a courageous Salty's line cook and placed on a farm belonging to the parents of another restaurant employee. … Which means, now that Peaches has been identified, that her idyllic existence in the Oregon hinterland is about to come to a tragic end, right? … Not necessarily. According to J, the farm is so far away that it wouldn't pay him to drive all the way out there and pick her up - so Peaches might have a future after all. Don't touch that dial.
• • •
'Yes, Virginia,' begins the somewhat breathless news release from St. Mary's Academy, 'there really is a good CEO.' … Every year, St. Mary's raffles off a car as part of its annual fundraising auction. This year it was a blue 2006 Mercedes SLK280 Roadster worth about $45,000. … And would you believe it, after this year's winner - Laika animation studio head guy Dale Wahl - accepted the car, he turned around and donated it back to the school. … What's with the Kassab brothers, anyway? For several years now, Pierre has owned and operated Kassab Jewelers at 529 S.W. Broadway. … But now that the store just two doors down, at the corner of Alder and Broadway, has been vacated, guess who's moving in? … Why, brother Joe of course - who also happens to be in the jewelry business. … No problem, though, Joe says. 'Totally different business, totally different name - Joseph K's Wedding Rings.' … Sniffs Pierre: 'The customers will be able to make up their minds which they prefer.'
• • •
You might say that Carl Sandstrom, proprietor of It's a Beautiful Pizza at 3342 S.E. Belmont St., is a '60s kind of guy. … He wears tie-dye shirts every day, and the pizzas on his menu are named after the likes of Joni Mitchell, Grace Slick, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and - until a recent letter from the Jerry Garcia Estate threatening to sue him for 'unauthorized commercial use' if he didn't cease and desist - the late, great leader of the Grateful Dead. … Not spoiling for a fight, Sandstrom immediately removed Garcia's surname from his menu, so that the pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, beef, mushroom, black olive and green pepper pizza is now listed simply as the Jerry. 'Which stands for Jerry Jeff Walker (a somewhat less famous '60s musician) if they decide to pursue it,' Sandstrom says. … If Jerry Garcia were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave.