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Year in review: police log


n A woman called about a loud fight. Police found only one man who was arguing with himself. Apparently, he was angry because he hit himself on the hand earlier. Police advised that he keep his loud thoughts to himself and not hit himself anymore.

n A woman called police because she thought her grandchild may have been traded for drugs. Officers contacted the child’s parents, who did admit to considering giving the child up.

n A man called officers because he was concerned about his roommate, who had been in the bathroom for eight hours. He was found standing in the bathroom nude and praying to a piece of paper because he believed he was possessed by a demon.


n  Police responded to the report of a female dancing in her socks on Hawthorne Street. Police contacted her and she told police that people who have been through traumatic experiences have different ways of handling stress. It is still unknown what trauma the female endured that caused her to dance in her socks.


n A caller on Thatcher Road complained that it sounded like someone was chopping up their deck during the night. Officers came to check things out and discovered there was just an ax-throwing competition next door.


n A caller reported that a man and woman went into a porta-potty. Officers found the potty empty.

n A woman called police about two teenagers making out. She didn’t like looking at it and wanted them to stop.

n Officers responded to a report of a domestic disturbance between two brothers who were trying to determine who was better at playing pool. Officers never did figure out who was better at the game.

n Officers responded to a report of a man doing somersaults in the middle of E Street.

n After responding to a motion alarm at a home, officers found a man inside eating refried beans and playing the piano. They also found marijuana on him.


n Officers responded to Pacific Avenue on a fight between a mother and her son’s girlfriend over who was going to keep “Buddy” the dog while the son was away. The son decided that “Buddy” would go to his mother over his girlfriend. In other news, officers responded to a separate domestic disturbance between the son and the girlfriend.

n Officers responded to check what a caller reported may be human remains, but determined they were in fact those of a racoon.

n Officers responded to the McDonald’s parking lot where two people were fighting about just how handicapped was the person who parked in the handicapped space.

n A caller reported yogurt smeared all over their car.


n A caller reported overhearing a Spanish conversation during which a woman said she was bleeding from the gut and having a heart attack and a man said they didn’t have insurance and he had to finish a job before they could care for her. Officers checked on the woman, who was fine and had health insurance. The caller later admitted to not being fluent in Spanish.

n A man reported that there was a family riding quads around his neighborhood. He wasn’t concerned about any violations, but was just jealous he couldn’t join in.

n A McDonald’s employee reported that two drivers were about to get into a fight. Officers arrived and found one of the drivers intoxicated. While there, they were informed of another drunk driver in the parking lot. While dealing with the second driver, the officer was nearly hit by another drunk driver in the parking lot.

n Officers assisted a woman in the Bi-Mart parking lot who had just crushed a can of bear spray with her electric car seat.


n A woman called officers to Safeway to complain about how the store collected its carts, and also about drug addicts riding bikes, and about her apartment complex manager not collecting garbage. She then made several racially offensive remarks and stated that she was an avid recycler. The officer then ended his contact with her.

n Officers received a call from a woman who was hearing voices in her head and was being beamed messages via the “Christian TV network.” The woman’s family told officers she was wearing a tin foil hat last week.


n Officers were mooned, flipped off, spat on, cursed at and struck with a lit cigarette by two subjects. Officers spoke with a roommate of one of the subjects, who said it was the intention of both individuals to get into a fight with police.

n A woman called police after finding an arrow stuck in the side of her house.

n A girl called police and asked for help with a baseball-sized spider. After a heated battle between the spider and a rolled-up newspaper, the spider was defeated.


n Officers assisted a woman who swallowed five batteries.

n A man called police concerned because he had not heard from his brother since he was released from jail. Officers explained to the man that his brother was instructed not to contact him as the brother had been arrested for assaulting him.

n An officer stopped a car for a traffic infraction on Pacific Avenue near Highway 47 and noticed the odor of marijuana. The officer spoke with the passenger and asked her if she had marijuana. The passenger admitted that she had “only a little bit,” and pulled a baggie out her pocket to show the officer. Unfortunately, she inadvertently pulled out the wrong baggie and instead showed the officer one with methamphetamine. She then exclaimed an expletive and tried stuffing the baggie back into her pocket. She was arrested for possession of methamphetamine and marijuana, along with a Multnomah County warrant.

n Officers checked on a man who was sleeping off a hangover on the railroad tracks.

n While sitting in a Portland restaurant, an officer was approached by a man who wanted to buy drugs.

n Officers received a report of a woman in her bra and panties blowing kisses to kids. Police told her to stop it.


n Someone forgot to remove their drugs and drug paraphernalia from clothing before donating it to Goodwill. Officers seized the items.

n A man called police to let them know he accidentally dialed a wrong number. He just wanted police to be aware of it.

n A woman accused of harassment via telephone came to the station to explain her side of the incident. She was arrested and lodged at the jail.

n Hillsboro Police requested assistance from Forest Grove officers in attempting to find a subject who violated a restraining order. The man reportedly was going to “the highest mountain in Forest Grove” to go on a hunger strike until his girlfriend took him back. The man was not located.

n Officers were dispatched to an incomplete 911 call from a cell phone on Pacific Avenue. The dispatcher could hear what sounded like a woman crying. Officers determined the emergency button on the phone was inadvertently pressed while a couple was having sex on the couch.

n Officers responded to a domestic disturbance between parents and their son. The son assaulted his father with a stick, then accused his mother of killing someone and attempting to set him up for the crime. Police don’t believe the son’s claims are true. He was arrested and lodged at the Washington County Jail.


n A man reported hearing something hitting his house several times a week. He also found what appears to be urine where the sound is coming from.

n A woman on Ash Street called to report that an unknown person dumped two leather couches outside her residence. Officers arrived to find the couches gone but found a rotisserie chicken hanging on the doorknob of the residence. There are no suspects.

n A man reported a pair of pants missing from his locked bedroom. Oddly enough, a pair of pants had gone missing from his room in September, too.

n A woman called police wanting her dentures and wallet back. Officers told her to keep looking.

n A man called police after finding his car door open and a window screen popped off his house. The man believes the suspicious person is the husband of the woman the man’s wife is having an affair with.

n A caller found a dead squirrel by their vehicle and thinks corrupt church members placed it there.

n Officers responded to a caller who said a cougar attacked their dog and they had the cougar trapped. The cougar turned out to be a raccoon.


n Officers responded to a hit-and-run. A woman came back to the scene and said she got scared and left. A witness said she was not the driver. The woman then admitted she was covering up for her daughter. The witness said the driver was a male. The daughter then admitted she was covering up for a male friend, who was actually driving.

n A landlord reported being chased by his 80-year-old tenant after the tenant was served with an eviction notice.

n A woman called police and wanted to discuss the metal in her hand and the effects of electromagnetic fields.

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Forest Grove


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