A rough draft of the future
Ever since I graduated from high school, the idea of actually going to college has seemed far away. College has been something Ive pushed to the back of my mind, like a book Ive wanted to read for a long time, but never really got around to reading.
Im used to telling people that I leave for college in a couple of months, or two months, or a month. Now, however, I cant avoid it anymore. Im leaving for college. The thing that has forever seemed far away, like a clumsy rough draft of the future, has now turned final.
Of course, Im experiencing many emotions about college and leaving home, including excitement and a little fear. Im going to miss my family and the places Ive grown to call home. Im going to miss the feeling of home itself, for its a feeling of comfort and familiarity.
But I dont want to talk about leaving for college for this entire column. Instead, I want to tell you what writing these columns and sharing pieces of myself through them has meant to me.
It has meant that there is a possibility that you, whoever you might be, have connected to my words and found pieces of yourself in them. It has meant that maybe sharing stories of my awkwardness and shyness has allowed you to feel better about your quirks or insecurities.
It has meant that Ive been able to meet outstanding people whove bettered my writing and given me an outlet to say whats on my mind.
Most of all, it has meant that there is possibility, always, in the rough draft.
I still dont know what I want to do in life, and I dont plan to find out exactly what it will be anytime soon. Writing these columns, though, has shown me that there are possibilities. When you love something as much as I love writing, there are always possibilities.
Words have possibilities. Every time I sat down to write a column, I didnt know what to write. Id stare for a while at the blank page and the cursor blinking at me, and Id just start writing anyway. After a while, I saw something calming about this blankness, because I wasnt confined to saying any one thing.
Likewise, there is something comforting about uncertainty. Im moving across the country to New Haven, Conn., to attend Yale University, and I dont know what to expect. I bought a winter coat and boots, but who knows? I still might freeze in the snow. I dont know what to expect from living with a bunch of young strangers completely away from my home, but I think Im ready for it nonetheless.
Im ready for it because this feeling of not knowing, Ive learned, is essential to eventually knowing, for its helped me to write these columns and to be hopeful.
Further, its allowed me to garner possibilities, and Im quite content with the ones my uncertainty has acquired thus far. If its true that my columns have made you laugh or feel a little better in your own skin, then I couldnt have asked for a better outcome.
I think its important to look back and consider why we do the things that we do. For me, Ive attached myself so strongly to the written word in the past years in the hopes that people will read what I write and find themselves in it.
As I trudge forward in my rough draft of the future, I, like you, am inevitably going to make some spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes. (Lets be honest: Every other sentence will probably be a fragment.)
In the end, however, if the words we can decipher from our error-filled stories mean something to ourselves and to others, then well know its all been worthwhile.
Its been a joy to share my thoughts with you this past year, Lake Oswego, and I wish you all the best. In the meantime, if you have any extra coats, scarves or boots, send them my way.
Lake Oswego High School 2016 graduate Meghana Mysore was one of two Laker Notes columnists for the 2015-16 school year and this summer. This is her last column. She is a talented writer with a bright future ahead of her, and we here