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Sources Say: Hi-Noon for Dotty's owner

The Hayden Island neighborhood association says it’s serious about recruiting Dan Fischer, president of the Dotty’s lottery deli chain, to serve on its board. But it’s sending mixed messages.

Informed last week that the Hayden Island Neighborhood Network, known as Hi-Noon, suggested he join their board, Fischer told Sources he’d love to serve. Sources erred by reporting that Fischer might be ineligible because he lives in Nevada, however. Hi-Noon chairman Ron Schmidt says Fischer is eligible because he owns businesses on the island. There are three open business slots on the board.

His company, Oregon Restaurant Services Inc., owns six of the 12 video lottery retailers at the island’s “Lottery Row.” Schmidt and other neighborhood leaders say they are contributing to crime problems there.

“The crime issue will never be fully resolved until the reason the crime comes here is eliminated,” Schmidt says. “We hope that we can work together to find a way to bring back the local retail core of the Hayden Island community. He could help do this by creating comfortable and welcoming businesses for island residents to dine and recreate.”

Good luck with that.

Forget the budget, what about Portlandia?

Is there more to Mayor Charlie Hales than meets the eye? The straight-laced Hales told the Westside Economic Alliance last week that he is pushing for a role on IFC TV’s “Portlandia,” but not as meek as the character played by former Mayor Sam Adams, who popped in and out of scenes as a slightly dweeby aide to “Portlandia’s” fictional mayor Kyle MacLachlan.

“I want something edgier than that. I want something with piercings and tattoos,” Hales said.

New owners say this headline has too many words

Speaking of the popular Friday night TV show, those of us at the Portland Tribune were as surprised as anyone to see a fictionalized version of our newspaper so prominently featured on the Jan. 27 episode of “Portlandia.”

First, a Portland Tribune story calling the mayor an “energy hog” prompts him to resign. Then, the paper is bought by a social media site called LinxPDX and the print edition is canceled.

Reporters are reduced to writing news stories that are no more than two sentences long because of the short attention span of the website’s new followers, who apparently turn to LinxPDX for links to news stories, not the stories themselves.

An inspired choice of casting puts comedian George Wendt in the role as Tribune editor, who grouses to a colleague that short tweety news items/stories are “the future.”

In the end, Mayor MacLachlan is replaced by Mayor Roseanne Barr — something that shocks the assistant played by Adams.

We don’t think the change bodes well for the city, either. Don’t blame us, though, it’s just a satirical TV show.