Featured Stories

Other Pamplin Media Group sites

Local Weather

Partly Cloudy

87°F

Portland

Partly Cloudy

Humidity: 37%

Wind: 8 mph

  • 27 Aug 2014

    Sunny 88°F 60°F

  • 28 Aug 2014

    Partly Cloudy 84°F 60°F


Mark & Dave: On coliseum issue, Portland exhibits hoarding tendencies

In Texas they’ve begun preparations in advance of the demolition of the historic Houston Astrodome. Last week, voters defeated a referendum that would have saved it. Why is it that people there can let go of the “Eighth Wonder of the World” but we can’t say goodbye to the marvel of “four pillars” holding up a roof that covers Veterans Memorial Coliseum? We’ve become architectural hoarders. Time for us to bring in Dr. Phil.

•••

According to the TomTom Traffic Index, Portland ranks eighth on the list of cities for worst traffic in the United States, ahead of New York City. Weren’t the bike boxes and MAX trains supposed to help?

•••

Remember when you used to covet your Blackberry for those cool texting features no one else had? Now, just a few years later, a sale designed to save Blackberry has been put on hold and the company has laid off 4,500 workers — which we also estimate is the total number of customers. It’s a bummer for Blackberry’s most prominent user, President Obama. His digital ventures don’t seem to be panning out these days.

•••

In New York, there is a growing call to eliminate restroom attendants. Customers see the job as demeaning. But demeaning for whom? The guy who stands around a bathroom eight hours a day watching you go potty or you for giving him a couple of bucks for the effort?

•••

In Spokane, thieves stole the copper wiring from the towers of a religious radio station. The station has been off the air since and repairs will cost thousands of dollars. Stealing copper from a religious broadcaster takes a big pair of brass ones.

•••

A survey of airline passengers found that 51 percent of travelers don’t trust female pilots. A majority of respondents felt male pilots were more skilled and would perform better under pressure. We wonder if it’s because female co-pilots might sometimes mimic our wives, constantly telling the pilot “you’re going too fast,” “turn left here” and pressing her phantom brake pedal.

•••

Word is Hustler’s Larry Flynt has been sending copies of the magazine to members of Congress every month for the past 30 years. According to Flynt, only a handful of lawmakers have refused or returned the magazine. We’re guessing it’s the one perk Bill Clinton misses most.

•••

Obamacare minority report? Arguably the worst traffic stop ever took place in southern New Mexico when David Eckert was pulled over by police who suspected he was smuggling something clenched in his buttocks. That led to a probable cause search with an X-ray. Nothing. Doctors performed a prostate exam, twice. Nothing. Two enemas were ordered. Nothing. More X-rays. Nothing. Doctors finally sedated him and performed a colonoscopy. You guessed it: Nothing. This adds new meaning to the words “government probe.”

•••

Snakes as long as buses and horses the size of cats. That’s what paleontologists warn could be the effect of climate change on reptiles and animals. Fossil records suggest the cycle could happen again. Turtles would grow to equal the size of SmartCars. And likely go faster.

•••

Good news: Another store has upped the “open on Thanksgiving” ante by promising to open at 6 a.m. Thanksgiving Day. The bad news: It’s Kmart. All kidding aside, Black Friday is slowly turning grey, isn’t it?

•••

Attention investors: A well-known bank is quoted in a market analysis saying legal marijuana is among the fastest growing markets in the nation. Fourteen more states are expected to join Washington and Colorado with legalization in the next five years alone. Its growth rate is poised to outperform the expansion of the global smartphone market, creating a $10 billion-plus market. We have no interest in owning a cannabis store, but we’re poised to invest in a crunchy snack food cart.

•••

A couple got engaged on Instagram, where they met over a photo of Oregon’s Crater Lake. Comments about the lake’s picture led to “liking,” which led to conversations, which led to meetings and now marriage. Sad how a kind gesture can turn into a life sentence.

Listen to the Mark & Dave Show from 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM and follow them on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/themarkanddaveshow.