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Mark & Dave: Portland drivers have something to honk about

A new survey found Portland has the most courteous drivers in the United States. According to the study, we’re least likely to honk at other drivers, least likely to speed, and least likely to see other drivers cutting between lanes without warning. In other words, we all seem to get along until it comes time to pay for a new Sellwood Bridge.

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Another survey on driving mistakes underscored some interesting differences between men and women drivers. For instance, when drivers forgot where they parked it was mostly women, not men. Locking keys in the car? More women than men. Trying to open a car door and then realizing it wasn’t your car? You guessed it, more women than men. The category where men clearly scored higher was forgetting a passenger and having to drive back. We’re guessing it was the wife they forgot.

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The governor of Nevada sent out a campaign mailer looking for votes in the upcoming election. Only one problem, he misspelled the name of his state. Instead of Nevada, he wrote, “Neveda.” We thought Gov. John Kitzhaber screwed up Cover Oregon, but at least he could spell it.

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Are you, like us, greeted at the front door by a happy dog slapping licks of love all over you? A new study aimed to prove the urban legend that dog licks are cleaner than those of humans. Here’s the good news: there’s no E. coli. The bad news? There was so much bacteria it was difficult to discern, but testing found evidence of Neisseria, a bacteria linked to STDs, pneumonia and plaque. Despite the alarm, doctors say a normal lick on the face is no more dangerous than a kiss from your spouse. Really? Begs the question, what has the spouse been licking?

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Here’s a top-10 list we’re happy we didn’t make. Los Angeles ranked first on the annual list of U.S. Postal Service cities with the most dog attacks. Portland ranked 12th. Maybe that’s why they go to the bathroom in your yard. We’d be scared, too.

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We heard Sen. Ron Wyden sound the alarm that the NSA was collecting data on law-abiding Americans and were dutifully concerned. But we were shocked to learn private commercial data brokers have amassed as many as 75,000 individual data points about us. Each of us. Seems our every move is tracked, logged and analyzed. Big data has become big business. Taking on the NSA looks easy, comparatively. No need to write to your elected officials to complain — they already know what you’re thinking. Good luck, senator.

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U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer’s son is multitasking these days. Jon, the owner of The Joinery, also scouts the Blazers for the San Antonio Spurs. He’s done a good job, it would appear. And he’s kind of like the rest of the Spurs: gentlemen in real life, but ruthless on the clock. Jon played for coach Gregg Popovich in college, so there’s that. While dad is proud, it’s bittersweet, of course. Go Blazers (next season, that is).

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Speaking of Rep. Blumenauer, he told Mark & Dave that Oregon is ready to follow Washington in legalizing recreational pot. Has everyone thought this through? We ask because there’s a guy in Atlantic City, N.J., who insists on the right to smoke his medicinal brand in a casino. Adds whole new meaning to the words “Hit me.”

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The average American thinks they are smarter than the average American. We thought the same thing until we tried to take the eighth-grade Common Core test. Here’s a sample: How many times greater is the number represented by the digit in the thousands place than the number represented by the digit in the hundreds place? We’ll give you the answer at the end of this column.

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We’ve heard of hard-core golfers, but this one takes the prize: A caddy collapsed and died on the ninth fairway during a golf tournament on an island off the coast of Morocco. What to do? After a minute’s silence, play resumed. Hope they lifted the no-carts rule when they removed the body.

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Answer: 10. You either feel really smart or really dumb.

Listen to Mark and Dave 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM.

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