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Mark & Dave: Don't like city's street fee? That's TUF

Want to own a home in Portland? We won’t try to talk you out of it, but according to a new study, you will need to earn more than $60,000 a year to afford a house in Portland. Of course, it would be less were it not for the new street tax.

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That new Portland street tax will be called the transportation user fee. Unfortunate acronym: TUF. We offer, at no fee to the city, some better acronyms for the tax. How about TART: Transportation and Road Tax. ROACH: Road Charge (But people would mistake it for a legalized pot ad). For the wine-minded Portlander, CARAFE: Car Road Fee. How about ART: Automobile Road Tax? Oops, we already have one of those.

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Washington State was one of the first states to release 2015 premium costs under Obamacare. The verdict? Rates are below the typical increase in private coverage prior to passage of the Affordable Care Act. In other words, rates will be up, but not as much as if there were no ACA. Now we need an Affordable Gas Act.

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In the wake of those botched lethal injections in Oklahoma last month, a Utah lawmaker is resurrecting legislation to bring back a firing squad as a more humane form of execution. No one was more excited than the NRA.

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The Social Security Administration tells us 262 people in the United States have named their babies Kale, after the leafy green vegetable. Of those 262 Kales, 257 were boys. But all of them are going to be picked on in school.

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President Obama sparked outrage last week when he went on television to discuss the ongoing scandal with the Department of Veterans Affairs. It wasn’t what he said (or didn’t say), it’s that he interrupted the East Coast showing of “The Price Is Right,” which didn’t sit well with viewers. Priorities, people, priorities! Just be thankful he didn’t interrupt “Game of Thrones.”

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Heading to the Happiest Place on Earth this summer? Apply for a loan first. One-day Park Hoppers at Disneyland Resort will cost you $150 each. Why? It’s not a money grab, it’s crowding. As the economy improves, so does theme park attendance — up 25 percent this year. Industry experts say they’ll have to keep hiking rates until the park becomes manageable. You realize, for 150 bucks, you could enjoy yourself for a week at Oaks Park. But you would have to cross the Sellwood Bridge — a thrill unto itself.

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What every college student in the world wanted to hear: The CEO at Levi’s says you should never machine-wash your jeans if you want to keep them in mint condition. Spot- clean them with a toothbrush and freeze them once a month if you need to kill bacteria. Now science is weighing in by saying freezing will not kill all bacteria, but putting them in the microwave will. Heat those babies up to 121-degrees for 10 minutes and you’re golden. Or try this, you could simply wash your jeans.

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A recent examination of Google Trends reveals a lot about Oregon and Washington through our respective search histories. Can’t explain why “circumcision” was Washington state’s No. 1 search word — we don’t think we want to know. For Oregon it was “Allah.” Some states it made sense. Alaska’s was “adult friend finder.” For Arkansas it’s “diet.” In Nevada they search “bitcoin” a lot. In California it’s “Alcoholics Anonymous.” Desperate times to our south.

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Portland is the most coffee-obsessed city in America. Makes a lot of sense until you hear its Portland, Maine, not Oregon. We’re fourth, behind the other Portland; Manchester, N.H.; and Burlington, Vt. But, hey, we’re still No. 1 in adult business.

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How did it come about that Google is as ubiquitous as Starbucks? If not yet, it soon will be with their S.E.C. request to put Google ads on refrigerators, car dashboards, thermostats, glasses and watches, just to name a few. Remember the good old days when Google used to advertise, “Don’t be evil?”

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Fleet Week is coming back to Rose Festival. After a one-year budget-induced hiatus, the big ships will be churning Willamette waters next month. And for the first time ever, the Willamette water might be cleaner than our tap water.

Listen to Mark and Dave 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM. Follow them at www.facebook.com/themarkanddaveshow.