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  • 27 May 2015

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  • 28 May 2015

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Mark & Dave: Maybe Starbucks will start hiring brewistas

How gullible are we as consumers? Starbucks is testing a new coffee drink that tastes like beer. You know, if we were interested in a drink that tastes like a beer, we’d order ... a beer. Don’t they understand? We drink real beer to forget about much money we spend on Starbucks coffee every week.

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It’s just hot air. Portland’s summer was the warmest ever since temperatures were recorded going back to 1890. Think it has anything to do with the fact that both John Kitzhaber and Dennis Richardson live here now?

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That streetcar derailment in the Pearl last week was caused by excessive speed. According to Portland’s Transportation Bureau (they run the streetcars, not TriMet) a switch failed to reset so the train ended up going about 20 miles per hour. Wow, 20 mph. Let’s take it easy out there. Turns out if you’re in a hurry in Portland, it’s faster to walk.

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East London is all abuzz over a “death-row” restaurant whose menu includes real-life famous last meals of executed felons. We beat them to it. We call them food carts.

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Seattle’s on the list of America’s Best Educated cities, but Portland isn’t? Of course not, we’re the home of the street tax, bioswales, bike signals, bike boxes, arts tax, big pipes, pedestrian bridge. ...

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We hear “Wheel of Fortune” will be holding auditions Oct. 11 and 12 at Chinook Winds Casino. You’d think a library or bookstore might be a better place to find good players. They must figure the best contestants are the same people who play the “Wheel of Fortune” slot machine.

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Wood Village, the small east-side hamlet restricted from enacting any kind of sales tax on marijuana ahead of the November election, may have to rename itself Pot Village if Measure 91 is approved next month. The “duty-free” status would make it more attractive to consumers looking to save money on weed. Now, if the Deadheads could only find Wood Village.

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Meanwhile, in Spokane, someone had the bright idea to suggest the city test the sewage system for traces of marijuana use. The theory: People might lie if you ask them whether they smoke pot, so analyze the sewage. Two problems: First, couldn’t one heavy user affect the entire test? And second, who are they going to find high enough to do that job?

Listen to Mark and Dave 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM. Follow them at www.facebook.com/themarkanddaveshow.

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