1/1/12 2:07 p.m. In a battle over birdhouses, a woman was pushed around and ordered to get out of her own yard on Glenmorrie Terrace. This ugly scene resulted from a dispute over the birdhouses illegally installed by a pushy man, who was later referred to city birdhouse ordinances.

1/1/12 9:09 p.m. A dispute over an electric bill caused one member of a couple to push the other to the ground. Still, they remain inseparable.

1/2/12 12:17 a.m. A woman tried to get police assistance in kicking out her heavy-drinking male roommate. Instead, she was lectured on the proper use of 9-1-1 calls.

1/4/12 12:45 a.m. An unwanted mother refuses to leave her child’s home.

1/8/12 10:56 p.m. A man is so upset about the bad-mouthing he is getting from his ex-girlfriend that he is seeking to enlist the police.

1/13/12 10:53 a.m. Suspicious footprints found near a residence on Palisades Terrace Drive are now believed to be those of a cleaning lady.

1/16/12 8:34 a.m. An 11-year-old called the police on his mother after she took away his PS3 game until he practices the piano. The boy was advised that the mother was within her rights to do this.

1/18/12 4:53 p.m. A man reeking of alcohol and wearing a frog hat stopped by a home near Bryant Road to ask for directions.

1/20/12 3:40 p.m. Somebody spilled their Viagra all over the floor of Blockbuster on Boones Ferry Road.

1/21/12 10:58 a.m. A car was parked with such utter carelessness that it blocked four spaces in the alley behind Gemini Pub.

1/22/12 11:23 a.m. A female was taken home by her parents after her yelling match with a man became too loud to bear.

1/25/12 5:15 p.m. A woman’s dog is being allowed to wander in protected wetlands and harass ducks.

1/26/12 11:04 a.m. A big yellow Lab named “Boomer” keeps coming into Safeway and helping himself to merchandise.

1/31/12 2:01 p.m. An angry woman left a sign that said “Tree Killer” at a location where a contractor had cut down some trees. She was warned about making further contact with the tree killer.


2/1/12 5:32 p.m. A man pulled out his guitar in front of a liquor store, began strumming it and started asking passers-by for contributions to his musical career.

2/4/12 3:42 p.m. A skunk thought to be dead came back to life and began stinking up McVey Avenue.

2/7/12 1:04 p.m. A jogger kept running around her car because she did not know how to shut it off.

2/8/12 4:53 p.m. A report on juveniles playing soccer in a construction area on Ridgecrest Drive turned out to be erroneous. It was found that it was the construction workers who were playing soccer.

2/9/12 3:56 p.m. A neighbor refuses to control his poodle on walks down Crest Drive, allowing the dog to go into people’s yards for unspecified activity.

2/12/12 6:04 a.m. A man on Middlecrest Drive was suspicious about the manner in which his morning paper was delivered.

2/13/12 8:24 a.m. The sounds of what seemed to be furniture being thrown around the room disturbed residents on Jefferson Parkway. It turned out to be a dog playing with a ball inside.

2/13/12 5:54 p.m. An irrational brother-in-law has refused to come out of his room for four days.

2/15/12 3:25 p.m. Two poorly behaving students are refusing to attend their behavioral class at an elementary school.

2/20/12 6:33 a.m. A male guest has outworn his welcome after six weeks.

2/27/12 3:50 p.m. A driver was attempting to drive while reading a paper propped on the steering wheel. Meanwhile, a child was in a car seat.


3/5/12 6:18 p.m. The hose at the dog park on Stafford Road will not turn off, and as a result dogs are being over-rinsed.

3/5/12 8:33 p.m. A father keeps getting emails from his 11-year-old son saying he does not want to be at his location. In addition, while on the phone the father can hear his 6-year-old screaming in the background.

3/11/12 11:04 a.m. A 20-year-old son became agitated when his mother took away his marijuana paraphernalia, so he took away his 16-year-old brother and demanded the money he owed him.

3/13/12 1:36 p.m. A man was stuck inside his house for a day and a half until he was able to push a key out to an officer, who then unlocked the door and freed him.

3/15/12 8:51 p.m. A solicitor on Sherwood Court is refusing to give up even though people aren’t coming to their doors.

3/17/12 5:04 p.m. A person repeatedly trying to contact a woman who resides on Jefferson Parkway turned out to be a process server trying to deliver her a civil summons.

3/18/12 9:01 p.m. A husband ran away when an attempt was made to serve him divorce papers and locked himself inside his house on McVey Avenue.

3/20/12 10:42 a.m. A pressure washer was used to spray mud all over a man’s car on Fourth Street.

3/20/12 12:24 p.m. Two gutter cleaners got into a gutter fight over who would do the job at a house on Touchstone.

3/23/12 1:24 p.m. A UPS man with a large moustache was mistaken for a criminal.

3/24/12 6:49 p.m. A woman is upset because her landlord rented out her apartment before she had officially moved out.

3/25/12 12:27 p.m. A little boy snuck out of his house on Leonard Street while his weary dad was taking a snooze.

3/25/12 1:24 p.m. A child kept jumping in and out of a car while the parents argued in front of a pharmacy on Boones Ferry.

3/26/12 5:56 p.m. Somebody has been knocking on a woman’s bedroom door for the past year and a half.

3/28/12 1:28 p.m. In a case of life imitating Tarzan, a man was reported to be living in a tree in the large green area behind a church on Jefferson and McNary parkways.

3/29/12 2:10 p.m. A husband went for a walk at 9 a.m. and hasn’t been seen since.


4/1/12 4:26 p.m. A woman is fearing for her life after overhearing her drunken roommate saying “I’m going to kill her” over the phone.

4/2/12 4:56 p.m. A mysterious woman keeps chasing peacocks around the yards of her neighbors.

4/3/12 1:22 a.m. A German shepherd is too fast for officers to catch in chases down Bryant and Childs roads.

4/4/12 12:16 p.m. In a case of neighbor noise on Evergreen Road, one neighbor complained that another neighbor uses a too-loud leaf blower and that another neighbor constantly uses foul language.

4/5/12 3:36 p.m. Five jiving juveniles in an old car sprayed an unsuspecting gentleman with an unknown liquid.

4/6/12 2:40 p.m. A resident of Lake Grove Avenue looked out in his yard and saw a stranger exercising.

4/11/12 6:25 p.m. Mysterious noises downstairs turned out to be caused by four cats making their home there.

4/15/12 10:05 p.m. Every Sunday night on Foothills Drive a bunch of people come out of their apartment yelling, screaming and partying.

4/16/12 7:50 a.m. A woman keeps sleeping in the lobby of a coffee shop on State Street despite requests for her to sleep elsewhere.

4/16/12 1:25 p.m. A man keeps calling a burger joint to complain about the quality of food and service.

4/18/12 1:30 p.m. Approximately 25 goats got loose and stampeded down Berwick Court and Lake Forest Drive.

4/18/12 3:52 p.m. Two adult geese and five goslings were waddling through traffic on Lakewood Boulevard, apparently trying to reach Oswego Lake.

4/20/12 9:19 p.m. A motorist tried to run down a man who had the nerve to complain about him throwing litter out of his car on McVey Avenue.

4/20/12 3:55 p.m. An old man was slugged by a young man he had asked to stop swearing.

4/22/12 5:59 p.m. In a loud incident on Kingsgate Road, a mother yelled at the woman who had yelled at her kids. The woman who started the yelling now feels threatened.

4/22/12 9:12 p.m. A mysterious stranger was observed hiding in some trees on Davis Lane. When a woman shined a flashlight on him, he dived under a picnic table.

4/24/12 8:36 p.m. A shopping trip to Safeway took a hostile turn when a woman’s foster daughter asked an elderly female if she could borrow her cellphone. The lady went berserk and started chasing the girl through the aisles of the store with a shopping cart.

4/25/12 9:24 p.m. A woman returned to her car on Centerpointe Drive and found a note on it. It was from a man who said she had cut him off in traffic while talking on her cellphone and that if it happened again he would come looking for her.

4/25/12 7:48 p.m. A man is threatening to become violent after a court ruled he could never own a gun again.

4/30/12 3:27 p.m. A repairman tore apart an air conditioning unit on Auburn Court only to discover that he had gone to the wrong address.


5/1/12 4:11 a.m. A driver fell asleep at the wheel while delivering newspapers on Waluga Drive.

5/5/12 4:29 p.m. A man is getting fed up with a woman who keeps coming into his apartment to hide.

5/9/12 8:23 a.m. A woman was pursued by a German shepherd puppy who wanted to pull at her skirt.

5/9/12 8:51 a.m. An elderly peeping tom was seen practicing his avocation on Carman and Fielding drives.

5/11/12 9:06 p.m. After fruitlessly waiting for a bus for two hours, a man gave up and simply lay on a sidewalk on Kruse Way.

5/11/12 11:02 p.m. Members of a video game club went ape and started yelling, screaming and throwing things across Overlook Drive.

5/12/12 2:10 a.m. Some prowlers barely escaped from a scary mother who confronted them on West Sunset Drive.

5/15/12 4:33 p.m. Officers were not able to locate a mallard duck to take it back to Oswego Lake. A woman on Third Street had given the duck a dog cookie and some water and was hoping the duck could be restored to its proper setting.

5/21/12 12:34 p.m. A girlfriend incurred the wrath of her boyfriend after stupidly allowing two loud-mouthed magazine salesmen to come into their apartment.

5/23/12 6:22 p.m. A cat accidentally dialed 9-1-1.

5/24/12 7:29 p.m. A pedestrian is seeking police escorts because drivers keep trying to run him over.

5/25/12 6:29 a.m. The Rotary Club, other civic organizations and neighbors who make too much noise and let their garbage pile up are being accused of harassment by a woman on Greenwood Road.

5/25/12 9:10 p.m. A naked woman has been enticing passers-by by walking by the window of her house. Her husband has yet to determine whether she is doing this on purpose or just getting out of the shower.

5/26/12 3:47 p.m. A solicitor for Comcast is being stalked by a tanned man dressed entirely in green.

5/27/12 4:27 p.m. A man found sleeping by the fire station on B Avenue was informed that he would have to leave. Instead, he went back to sleep.


6/2/12 12:45 p.m. A wife suspects her jealous husband put a tracking device in her vehicle.

6/5/12 4:12 p.m. A teenager started his summer vacation by standing on the corner of Boones Ferry and Bryant roads and flipping off motorists.

6/5/12 10:03 p.m. An elderly gentleman called to report that his 1972 Ford Mustang had been stolen. However, the police found that the man has memory problems and hasn’t owned a ‘72 Mustang in years.

6/6/12 10:06 a.m. A neighbor is taking photos of a woman when she exercises in her driveway. Her indignant husband objects.

6/6/12 4:04 p.m. Two teenage skateboarders dressed in black got on top of the roof at Wizer’s and appeared to throw something off. Wizer’s employees are willing to press charges.

6/6/12 9:57 p.m. Two glowing fireballs appeared in the sky above Cardinal Drive.

6/11/12 6:28 p.m. A juvenile thought to be smoking something while inside a car parked at West Waluga Park turned out to be just a kid doing his homework.

6/12/12 12:38 p.m. A flaming bag of feces was left at the doorstep of a home on Hidalgo. Police are seeking a suspect and a motive.

6/12/12 1:11 p.m. Snapping turtles were discovered digging up a yard on Bay View Lane. The case was referred to the Fish & Wildlife Department.

6/14/12 A customer who had walked away without paying his tab at Firehouse Pub later returned and fell asleep at an outdoor table.

6/14/12 8:29 p.m. A solicitor slugged a woman’s boyfriend while making a sales pitch.

6/18/12 2:57 p.m. A politician campaigning on Walking Woods Drive told a woman he wanted her vote, although he had no material to give her.

6/19/12 3:18 a.m. An underage smoker complained about the clerk not selling him any cigarettes at a convenience store on A Avenue.

6/19/12 10:52 a.m. Someone has twice climbed into a bus at Touchstone School through the roof hatch, then left garbage behind.

6/19/12 8:30 p.m. An argument over potato chips broke out between a husband and wife as they were watching TV.

6/20/12 9:21 a.m. A guest is refusing to pay his hotel bill because of his belief that it is too high.

6/20/12 2:18 p.m. A former patient at a care center on Holy Names Drive has gotten into the building’s furnace system and is making odd noises.

6/20/12 6:13 p.m. A wacky woman driver was waving her arms and driving with no hands on her steering wheel as she happily cruised down State Street.

6/22/12 11:46 a.m. After leaving her car unlocked on State Street, a woman returned to discover that a dog had relieved itself on the seat.

6/25/12 6:26 p.m. A missing 6-year-old girl was found at Westlake Park watching her brother’s baseball game.


7/2/12 12:35 p.m. While in her washroom after midnight, a woman became worried by some strange noises. It turned out they were coming from her washer.

7/3/12 3:13 p.m. A woman is being bombarded by dog feces tossed into her yard by her next door neighbor.

7/4/12 1:36 a.m. Some irritating people on Greenridge Drive are turning on their appliances to bother a woman.

7/4/12 11:41 p.m. A man cannot remember where he parked a car. The only person with the keys is his father, but he is reluctant to notify him.

7/6/12 9:18 a.m. After spotting a coyote in his neighborhood, a man is considering hiring a private trapper.

7/6/12 10:58 a.m. An English sheepdog keeps wandering onto a property on Twin Fir Road and relieving itself.

7/7/12 8:50 p.m. A mother of a future bride suspects the person sending her harassing messages is her future son-in-law.

7/9/12 1:22 p.m. After a woman warned a man about using illegal fireworks on Gatewood Street, he told her, “I know where you live.”

7/9/12 4:58 p.m. A mother is upset that neighbor kids are taking her children’s toys. She may take their parents to small claims court.

7/9/12 5:53 p.m. A daughter doesn’t want her 91-year-old father joyriding with his 89-year-old girlfriend.

7/24/12 3:26 p.m. A man stood outside the house and demanded money after giving a couple’s daughter a ride home from Washington.

7/26/12 1:41 a.m. A woman is refusing to let anyone in a house while she burns paper and urinates on clothes. It was reported she does not live in the house on Davis Lane.

7/28/12 1:16 p.m. Condolea Drive was the site of a strange incident in which a pot was moved, two large plants were shattered and underwear was flung up into trees.

7/29/12 4:01 a.m. After being driven way out of his route, a passenger is refusing to pay a cab driver for running up the fare.

7/30/12 10:51 a.m. A cat in a pot was discovered in a complex on Foothills Drive.


8/1/12 9:34 a.m. After buying a house, a person looked inside the garage and found 22 lights, arousing suspicion that marijuana may be being cultivated inside the house.

8/1/12 8:48 p.m. A woman is making a spectacle of herself on B Avenue by dancing on the sidewalk, crossing the street and waving at people. It is believed she is high on more than life.

8/5/12 10:08 a.m. A toilet in a women’s bathroom on Melrose Street won’t stop flushing.

8/6/12 11:51 a.m. A white chicken is at large on Shireva Drive.

8/6/12 10:40 p.m. Police have been alerted to a couple committing indecency at George Rogers Park.

8/7/12 12:46 p.m. A traffic jam occurred at the intersection of Bryant Road and Lakeview Boulevard when a man suddenly got out of his car and started working on it.

8/7/12 5:28 p.m. Two amateur mimes pretending to pull a rope caused two vehicles to slam on their brakes on Carman Drive.

8/8/12 9:54 a.m. An overly aggressive parent at the International Leadership Academy bared his teeth to the mother of another student and also used offensive language.

8/9/12 7:20 p.m. A woman was shocked when she discovered she had accidentally left a $100 bill instead of a $1 bill in a tip jar at a coffee shop. A search for the $100 bill has been fruitless. The woman kept coming back so often to retrieve her money that she was finally removed.

8/10/12 7:55 p.m. An honest man turned in a pair of pants with a wallet in them.

8/11/12 4:35 p.m. Twelve kids were indulging in jumping off the dolphins on Oswego Point Drive. A park ranger convinced them to desist.

8/11/12 11:35 p.m. A late-night boat party on Oswego Lake came to a riotous conclusion when a boat with a drunken pilot and nine drunken guests had to be towed in. During this action a person fell into the lake while urinating. Four taxis were summoned to take the drunks home.

8/14/12 2:29 p.m. A landlord is harassing a former tenant he charged with stealing a curtain rod from the dining room.

8/14/12 2:46 p.m. A man found lying on the road told police he was merely waiting to get gas.

8/21/12 1:45 p.m. A pet parrot on Hillshire Drive won’t shut up. Fortunately, it is only visiting.

8/22/12 8:39 p.m. Overlook Drive was shaken up by the screams of many young girls. It turned out to be the members of the Lakeridge soccer team returning from soccer camp.

8/23/12 5:14 p.m. An angry adult chased a kid down the street on North Shore Place after the brat set off an explosion.

8/23/12 4:23 p.m. A neighbor vanished after saying he was going to his room to get something and come right back.

8/29/12 9:52 a.m. A resident and a police officer teamed up to destroy a bag of marijuana discovered at a senior residence center.


9/1/12 2:34 p.m. A man laid down on the ground after getting fired from his landscaping job. His ex-boss later came by to give him a ride home.

9/3/12 12:27 a.m. A resident of Ridgecrest Drive came running with a rifle when he saw four juveniles in a silver Toyota Camry sneaking around his property.

9/4/12 7:06 a.m. Someone has been making noises over a school intercom for the past year and a half.

9/4/12 1:36 p.m. An estranged husband is terrifying his wife by sticking his head through her window. The hostile hubby has facilitated his efforts by removing the screen from the window.

9/4/12 2:50 p.m. In a rare case of dogs actually barking when police show up, the owner of a Rottweiler on Hemlock Street will be contacted regarding its noisy behavior.

9/11/12 10:28 p.m. A man living in an apartment on Eaglecrest Drive has taken to pounding on the floor in an attempt to stop the loud conversation and barking dogs on the floor below. Both people and dogs were advised to quiet down.

9/12/12 8:14 a.m. A religious zealot who resembles a hobo has been standing at the entrance to Lake Oswego Junior High School, yelling at the top of his lungs and carrying a sandwich board with the message that people were sinners and going to hell.

9/13/12 4:09 p.m. A tan Chihuahua was found in a woman’s mailbox on Glenmorrie Drive.

9/15/12 3:48 p.m. A water-loving dog was observed swimming in Oswego Lake. When finished, the dog climbed the swim ladder on its own and returned to its owner.

9/17/12 11:55 a.m. A son is peeved that his 88-year-old mother let in some strangers who claimed they were researching her genealogy.

9/19/12 10:31 a.m. A naked man from Texas is driving his SUV around town.

9/19/12 3:54 p.m. A discussion about a woman’s dog and the Bible was overheard between three subjects sitting on a bench on Waluga Drive.

9/20/12 8:52 a.m. A woman keeps getting into arguments with the same guy in a supermarket parking lot.

9/20/12 11:53 a.m. A rat crawled into a coffee shop and died.

9/24/12 5:56 p.m. An unbridled attack was launched on a woman who double parked in front of Jamba Juice on Monroe Parkway.

9/26/12 1:14 p.m. A man with a white truck has taken it upon himself to chastise other motorists loudly and frequently by honking his horn and yelling at them when he thinks they are doing something wrong, like rolling through stop sign. A woman took his photo and turned it in to the police.

9/27/12 6:52 p.m. A solicitor informed a woman he was selling “charm and personality.”


10/2/12 5:33 p.m. A raccoon who is being rehabbed by a woman on Cedar Street has escaped. She says the animal is friendly and she wants to be notified if it is sighted.

10/3/12 1:01 p.m. A man was seen in hot pursuit of a brown shepherd/Lab mix dog down Hillshire Drive. The dog, not the man, has a history of aggressive behavior.

10/4/12 9:49 a.m. A 77-year-old man became so upset by the presidential debate that he called the police to say, “They are going to kill all of us.”

10/6/12 8:14 a.m. A resident on Holy Names Drive is being harassed by somebody calling her through the heating vents and making funny noises.

10/16/12 11:20 a.m. A man walked into a posh building on Meadows Road, claiming he was president of the company and needed some quick cash. He was wearing a gray T-shirt, blue jeans, carrying a backpack and smelled heavily of smoke. He lacked credibility.

10/17/12 1:01 p.m. In a case of youth gone wild, 20 juveniles surged up to a fountain on Monroe Parkway and began taking off their clothes and throwing in dish soap, apparently seeking to take a mass bath.

10/21/12 7:48 p.m. A Dalmatian named James Bond was found by a woman on Pfeifer Court.

10/22/12 10:06 p.m. A man was caught exchanging indecent text messages with a woman in Forest Grove.

10/24/12 11:16 a.m. An ex-husband is violating a divorce agreement by refusing to give up his couch to his former wife.

10/26/12 2:37 p.m. A zombie scavenger hunt was scheduled for North State Street.

10/27/12 12:09 a.m. People outside of an abode on Lower Drive were yelling because they were locked out and were hoping to awaken a sleeping parent.


11/5/12 10:32 p.m. A mean neighbor on Kingsgate Road is intentionally letting a golden retriever off-leash so it can chase a mother and her daughter. Police are now chasing the neighbor.

11/6/12 9:17 a.m. Twenty-eight political signs clogging Kruse Way were picked up.

11/6/12 4:19 p.m. In a striking case of the insanity offense, a mother called the police to say that her daughter was crazy. Then the daughter grabbed the phone and told the police her mother was crazy.

11/7/12 11:31 p.m. A houseguest on Eaglecrest Drive has badly outstayed her welcome but is refusing to leave. Police have been called to facilitate her departure.

11/9/12 11:32 a.m. Calls flowed in requesting the removal of a dead skunk in the middle of the road on Cervantes.

11/22/12 5:50 a.m. A woman on Boca Raton Drive says someone has taken her clothes and shoes and will not give them back.

11/25/12 12:42 a.m. Two disruptive patrons refused to leave Maher’s Pub on B Avenue. One of them demanded the return of his wallet, but it was in the safe, which could not be opened until the manager arrived in the morning.

11/27/12 4:46 p.m. A woman is so sick of people checking on her she told a man, “I don’t know how much more I can take.”

11/29/12 9:54 a.m. A woman on Oswego Summit has been mocked for the past year by people singing her name.

11/30/12 3:25 p.m. A shaky man keeps spilling coffee as he comes in and out of a store on State Street.


12/3/12 4:31 p.m. A backside was threatened during a verbal fight over money and a car between friends on Greenridge Court. One friend informed the other that unless he unlocked the car door he was going to “kick his butt.”

12/4/12 2:21 p.m. A man is being a nuisance on Centerpointe Drive by following people to their car and browbeating them.

12/10/12 9:26 a.m. A lost dog was reported to be old, skinny, yellow and with lumps all over its body. Its name is Lucky.

12/14/12 5:46 p.m. A man keeps coming to a barbershop even though he doesn’t want to pay for a haircut.

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