No call was too small for the LOPD in 2017
Angst-filled teenagers, a naked cyclist and a six-foot-long serpent highlight this year's "Best of the Police Log."
While the brave men and women of the Lake Oswego Police Department put their lives on the line to protect this community from harm each and every day, there's also a lighter side to police work — settling a dispute between parents and their 15-year-old daughter over unfinished homework, for example, or locating the owners of a golden retriever who casually strolled into a Wells Fargo branch.
And so, with the motto "No Call Too Small" in mind, here are some of the most amusing tidbits from this year's police blotter:
1/1/17 3:58 a.m. A resident on Lake Shore Road was not amused when people started ringing his doorbell in the early-morning hours of New Year's day — until he realized they were friends.
1/5/17 10:20 a.m. A woman told police that her ex-wife is friending people on Facebook in an attempt to find out what she's been doing since the break-up.
1/6/17 7:05 p.m. The suspicious brown paper bag left on a Southwood Drive porch turned out to contain snow pants that had been left as a gift for the homeowner's son.
1/7/17 2:09 p.m. A citizen brought a duck to the fire station on South Shore Boulevard. Fortunately, a police officer quickly retrieved the duck and returned it to the water.
1/9/17 1:21 p.m. Police restored order after a teenage daughter refused to do her homework and then struck her mother.
1/16/17 8:54 p.m. Three suspicious juveniles were seen entering Lakeridge High School, but police determined it was just the robotics team and their teacher.
1/23/17 3:39 p.m. Five chickens were reported missing from a yard on Peters Road. Whether they had crossed the road was anyone's guess.
1/30/17 10:48 a.m. A man wearing a surgical mask, red jacket and blue sweatpants aroused suspicion by repeatedly stopping, staring, stomping, twirling and grunting on Lake Bay Court.
2/11/17 8:29 a.m. A man told police that he feared the substance he spotted on a sidewalk might be drugs, but it was only chalk.
2/13/17 9:45 a.m. A teenager waving a "Feed a hippie" sign was seen standing on the corner at Jefferson Parkway and Westlake Drive. Someone must have obliged, because the youth was gone when police arrived.
2/14/17 8:29 a.m. Kids have been making prank phone calls to the McDonalds on Boones Ferry Road for the past few weekends, prompting employees to block the offending phone number.
2/21/17 11:30 a.m. A woman sought information about the rules surrounding the use of modified golf carts on Lake Oswego streets.
2/23/17 12:12 p.m. A golden retriever walked into the Wells Fargo branch on A Avenue. Whether it was there to make a deposit is unclear.
2/24/17 12:57 p.m. A woman told police that her husband was missing, but it turns out he was only spending the day at a golf show.
3/4/17 7 a.m. Police were unable to locate an emu that had reportedly been running loose on Rosemont Road near Luscher Farm.
3/5/17 3:39 p.m. An HVAC worker called police for help after the ladder he used to climb onto the roof of the Goodyear Auto Service Center on A Avenue blew over and left him stranded.
3/8/17 11:49 a.m. A woman told police that she had just received notification that the iPhone she lost sometime last summer had suddenly been turned on. Officers responded — and found the missing phone in the woman's residence.
3/9/17 2:11 p.m. A dog sitter named Anne has been watching a pooch since mid-January and now won't return the pet to its owner.
3/20/17 9:28 p.m. Police were dispatched to the scene of what was described as a fight at The Bluffs at Mountain Park, only to find a woman who was having a dance party with her kids.
3/31/17 1:38 p.m. A person called police to report that someone had thrown underwear at their car and was using expletives in a parking lot on the 16300 block of Boones Ferry Road.
4/15/17 3:20 p.m. A woman thought it was suspicious when her dog barked at a parked vehicle and sniffed at the white sedan's trunk.
4/20/17 7:28 a.m. LOCOM dispatchers received an incomplete 911 call in which a man could be heard telling a woman, "You just kicked me in the eye; you're a lunatic," before hanging up the phone. Officers responded to the scene, where they determined that everyone was OK.
4/23/17 11:11 p.m. A neighbor at the One Jefferson Parkway apartments reported hearing a dog barking, a woman screaming and some type of banging on the wall. Turns out it was just siblings arguing with each other.
4/29/17 1:11 p.m. A resident apparently was angered after seeing a child fall in a Mt. Park playground and no one come to the child's aid. The resident is reportedly now passing out fliers and threatening to "destroy the play school."
5/3/17 8:11 p.m. Dispatchers received multiple incomplete 911 calls from a young female who asked, "Do you know the muffin man?"
5/6/17 2:18 p.m. A balloon floating through the Rite Aid on Boones Ferry Road triggered the store's alarm.
5/15/17 2:50 p.m. Gunshots and explosions caused concern until police determined that the noise was coming from a Civil War reenactment underway at Lake Oswego Junior High.
5/17/17 4:58 p.m. A man complained to police because his mother has been going through his mail.
5/19/17 9:51 a.m. A sword-carrying teenager never pointed his weapon or threatened anyone inside a shop on Monroe Parkway, but police let him know that while he had committed no crime, unsheathing the sword had alarmed several customers.
5/30/17 10:47 a.m. A worried father thought that the man sitting in a silver Honda at East Waluga Park was staring at his daughter, but it turns out the fedora-wearing dude was only making the rounds of area parks in search of Pokemon.
6/20/17 11:21 a.m. File this one under "What are the chances?" On June 15, a woman named Julie Kentosh posted on the "Lake Oswego, Oregon" Facebook page that a marmot had apparently hitched a ride from Mount Rainier National Park to Lake Oswego in her engine compartment. When she discovered the marmot, Kentosh said, she didn't have the means to capture it and last saw the critter scampering away near the 365 by Whole Foods Market on State Street. Fast forward to June 20, when a man told police he had detained a marmot in the Oswego Village parking lot near Whole Foods. Responding officers contacted the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife, which said it would send someone to pick up the little guy. Not sure what he did for five days, but hopefully he's on his way back to Washington now.
6/23/17 8:50 a.m. A caller told police that a woman was "misbehaving" on a Luscher Farm trail. Turns out, though, that it was just farm coordinator Dawn Grunwald, who was confronting a dog owner over an ongoing off-leash problem.
6/24/17 1:27 a.m. A woman invited her date back to her abode after a night out, only to discover after he left that he had lied about his name. Now she's worried, she told police, because the man knows where she lives.
6/26/17 12:43 a.m. A caller told police that his computer sensed that someone was going to hurt him, and he asked if an officer could sit outside his apartment.
6/29/17 2:14 p.m. A woman told police that her ex-husband continues to write nasty messages on her support checks.
7/4/17 5:26 p.m. A man with a bad sunburn asked firefighters if they had any padding he could use for his shoulders so that he could carry his backpack home from a park on South State Street. They did not, but they did offer some alternatives.
7/7/17 12:04 p.m. After a nail salon refused to honor a Groupon deal, a customer reportedly said she wouldn't pay for her mani/pedi and left the shop. She did give the staff a $1 tip, though.
7/10/17 5:52 p.m. Police determined that a 20-year-old man yelling profanities in Lake Grove Presbyterian Church was not a danger to himself or others. He was just having a bad day.
7/17/17 4:13 p.m. A naked bike rider was spotted near the intersection of Boones Way and Spring Lane. He apparently decided to get dressed, though, and was last seen pedalling away in a gold or yellow sleeveless shirt and dark shorts.
7/22/17 12:20 a.m. Firefighters called to a report of a strange odor on Spruce Street found no evidence of a gas leak, but they did find the potent reminder of a skunk.
8/2/17 9:02 p.m. The people spotted setting up a camp in Southwood Park were actually just there to watch a movie and told police they would soon be leaving.
8/3/17 12:46 p.m. A group of potlucking journalists failed to get the license plate number of a Chrysler Town & Country minivan involved in a hit-and-run crash with a parked SUV on C Street near Rossman Park. However, they were able to tell police the flavors of ice cream they had consumed for dessert: French vanilla and mint chocolate chip.
8/7/17 10:32 p.m. A worried mom told police that she had put her 6-year-old son to bed 30 minutes ago and now couldn't find him. Officers quickly joined in the search, only to find the youngster fast asleep behind a couch
8/22/17 12:09 p.m. A man stopped by City Hall to ask for assistance in removing handcuffs.
8/22/17 3:12 p.m. A man walked into the Banfield Pet Hospital on State Street, used the restroom and weighed both himself and his dog on a scale. He then walked outside, stripped naked and left in a blue compact car.
9/4/17 4:22 p.m. A male suspect found a key to the Palisades building on Greentree Road a month ago and has been using it to gain entrance and play video games ever since. It's now up to the Parks & Rec Department to decide whether to press charges.
9/9/17 6:13 p.m. A man in his 70s was reportedly trying to sell chicken and steak from the back of his red pickup truck on Knaus Road.
9/10/17 9:44 a.m. Diners at Babica Hen insisted that the puppy they were passing around the table during breakfast was an "emotional support dog," but other customers weren't so sure and called police.
9/29/17 6:45 p.m. When an attendant at a downtown gas station spent more than 15 minutes in the bathroom, a customer suspected drug use was involved and called police. Turns out the suspicions were unfounded, through; the attendant was simply having "stomach issues."
9/30/17 3:53 a.m. A man was spotted outside a home on Collins Way, reportedly drinking from a can and with his pants down around his ankles. Police checked the area, but came up empty.
10/4/17 2:03 p.m. A mom continued to send text messages to her son, even after he asked her to stop.
10/11/17 9:15 a.m. After a man reported receiving inappropriate texts from an unknown subject, police determined that the digital conversation had actually been started by the man's daughter. Dad said he and the girl would have a different kind of conversation soon.
10/13/17 10:58 a.m. A visitor to City Hall said she needed to take a photo with a police officer for a scavenger hunt she was doing. She left with the image in hand.
10/23/17 10:46 a.m. Officers counseled two motorists about respecting other drivers after a road-rage incident near Lakeridge Junior High School. One of the drivers reportedly told the other that he was going to beat her up after she honked at him, and she responded by threatening to Mace him.
10/27/17 8:24 p.m. A man dressed like a wrestler startled a motorist when he leaped into the roadway near McVey Avenue and South Shore Boulevard.
10/31/17 7:42 p.m. A young, masked Halloween prankster — armed with two sticks that he used as swords — was reportedly jumping out of bushes and scaring people near Fosberg Road and Westlake Drive,
11/5/17 1:59 a.m. An intoxicated man who thought he had made his way home walked into an apartment and accused the real resident of being an intruder. Police explained the error of his ways and said his home for the night would be a detox center.
11/5/17 9:51 p.m. Parents called police for help with their daughter, who was allegedly "acting out" after being told she couldn't go to her boyfriend's house.
11/7/17 4:03 p.m. A 15-year-old girl told police that her father had thrown things and screamed at her the day before and she was now scared to go home. Investigating officers determined, however, that the claims were unfounded; turns out the girl was simply angry about being grounded after skipping school.
12/5/17 4:50 p.m. A caller asked police for advice about how to deal with people who are mean to him.
12/6/17 11:50 a.m. A woman told police that she hadn't heard from a man in Lake Oswego for three months and asked if officers would check on him, They did, only to learn from a neighbor that the man had died while on vacation several months ago.
12/12/17 8:28 a.m. An argument between a mom and her 11-year-old and 14-year-old daughters caused both girls to miss the bus, so an officer gave one of the girls a ride to Lakeridge Junior High.
12/15/17 10:48 p.m. A grandma denied reports that underage drinking was taking place at the birthday party she was hosting.
12/20/17 9:53 a.m. A woman told police she had received a troubling letter from her neighbors, asking her to euthanize their dog if "something big" happens and they all disappear. Should that occur, the letter said, the likely cause would be a supernatural event. Responding officers referred the case to mental health authorities.