Keeping Portland weird: Say goodbye to the old carpet at PDX, a new design arrives soon. Who knew the 20-year-old carpet was so popular with locals who snap “footsies” on the carpet upon their return home.

The floor covering even has its own Facebook page and hashtag (#pdxcarpet). It’s inspired a fashion line of T-shirts and socks. But the rugged end is nigh. The new design is, well, not quite like the old one — nothing stays trendy forever. Port of Portland officials say the new carpet should be installed within a year. When we use our airport-to-real-time converter that means 2019.


Retailers say the early Black Friday sales, that really began on Thursday, were a big success. Sales were up, and it looks like we have a new Thanksgiving tradition in the making. And it’s a win-win. Stores increase profits, and everyone else has an excuse to get away from relatives as soon as the turkey carcass is cold.


Did you enjoy turkey and gefilte fish on Thanksgiving? Lucky you, you were one of the few. All the talk of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the same dates (Thanksgivukkah) was pretty much ignored as a commercial ploy until we heard it won’t happen again for another 76,000 years. Now we are upset we didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to celebrate a holiday we’ll never get to celebrate again. The closest we’ll come is Christmukkah on Dec. 25, 2016. Mazel tov.


A Medford family had a lot to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Their new baby didn’t wait for mom and dad to get to the hospital; she was delivered in the car along the freeway. Everyone is fine, and the new baby has been nicknamed: “I-5.” Thankfully they were nowhere near Wanker’s Corner.


We are still blushing from reading the Jeff Cogen/Sonia Manhas text messages released last week. What was most startling was not the chronicle of sex and a woman scorned, but the seemingly rampant, alleged drug use, including ecstasy, by the former Multnomah County chairman. Things were so bad for Cogan that his paramour’s nickname for him on her cell phone was “Dead Head.”

And there’s a lesson for everyone else: Whatever text you think might be private can easily come back to haunt you. It did to Jeff Cogen, and, frankly, to us, as well.

Cogen is the new vice president of business development and strategy for Portland’s Democracy Resources, a petition signature firm on Northeast Sandy Boulevard. We’re guessing they didn’t require a drug test.


Researchers have determined that Monday is our most productive day of the workweek. Specifically, 10:01 a.m. is when you are most efficient. Here’s the rest of the story: The time at which you are least productive is 4 p.m. each Tuesday. Knowing that, what’s the use of Wednesday through Friday? All those in favor of a two-day workweek, raise your golf clubs.


Job hunters, interviews are bad enough when you are trying to land that next, better job. Now IBM has developed software to help employers pick future high flyers by analyzing the candidate’s Twitter feed.

Caring, detailed people use words like “we,” “family,” and “home” and talk about their achievements. The self-indulgent applicant uses the words “work” and “school.” Where was this when we were electing Jeff Cogen?


Cover Oregon says if there is a problem with your application you should expect a phone call asking for confidential information that may make you nervous you are talking to a scammer. But it really is them on the other end of the line. We’re guessing every scammer who heard that is breaking out their Oregon phone books for some phishing trips.

It hasn’t been the smoothest of rollouts for Cover Oregon, our KPAM show’s producer tried enrolling online and was labeled a Native American (which he isn’t) and couldn’t undo the classification. If he sticks with it, his health care is free under federal Indian Health Services. Makes us wonder how many Native Americans named Smith have enrolled?

Listen to Mark and Dave 3 to 6 p.m. weekdays on AM 860 KPAM. Follow them at

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